Calvin and Susie
by yodoggjdoggindahouseyo
Summary: This story is totally irrational and has bad grammar and would never happen in real life but oh well I like it.
1. Terror

Calvin and Susie  
  
Calvin: (rolls snow in hands) Wait till I get that dumb Susie with a slush ball!  
  
Hobbes: That doesn't seem very nice..  
  
*Calvin hurls slush ball at her head*  
  
Susie: GAAAH! Calvin!!! Why did you do that for?!?!  
  
Calvin: That's what you get you stupid girl!!!  
  
Susie: Wait till I get my hands on you!  
  
*She chases Calvin and clobbers him into a pulp*  
  
Calvin: I'll get you!  
  
*Calvin goes home to read some comic books*  
  
Calvin: I'll tell you Hobbes, Susie is so annoying!  
  
Hobbes: Oh, go soak your head (grins from ear to ear)  
  
Mom: Calvin, Susie is coming to spend the weekend at our house because her parents are going on a trip.  
  
Calvin: No! No! No! No! Make her go with them! Make her go with them!  
  
Mom: Look Calvin, Susie is a perfectly sweet girl, and she will be a pleasure to have around.  
  
Calvin: No she won't! I hate her!  
  
Mom: Calvin you sh---  
  
*ding dong*  
  
Mom: That's probably her now, you better be nice or you'll never watch T.V. again!  
  
*Calvin arms himself with his dart gun*  
  
Mom: Welcome Susie! Come on in!  
  
*darts fly and hits Susie on her forehead*  
  
Susie: Ow! What's going on?  
  
Mom: Calvin, get down here!  
  
Calvin: Oh! Heh, heh, hi Susie I didn't know you were here.  
  
Mom: Calvin! I can't believe how ruse you're being! Especially for a guest! Apologize to Susie right now!!  
  
Calvin: Um, sorry Susie.  
  
Mom: Would you like a snack, Susie?  
  
Susie: Yes, please.  
  
*Calvin dashes upstairs to retrieve Hobbes*  
  
Calvin: Hobbes! What are we going to do the G.R.O.S.S. club will not stand for this!  
  
Hobbes: Alright! Susie's spending the night. Yow!  
  
Calvin: Who's side are you on?!?! Anyway, I thought of a plan that will definitely show Susie that she's not wanted.  
  
Hobbes: Great! What are we going to do, captain?  
  
Calvin: Just follow me.  
  
*Calvin and Hobbes spy Susie playing with "Mr. Bun"*  
  
Susie: Hi, Calvin! Wanna play house with me and Mr. Bun?  
  
Hobbes: (gives Calvin an encouraging look)  
  
Calvin: Ok, as long as Hobbes can play.  
  
Susie: Ok, I'll be the successful business woman, Hobbes can be the house cleaning husband, and you and Mr. Bun can be the kids but you're the bratty one that still goes to day-care, I'm off to Wall Street now!  
  
Calvin: (whispers to Hobbes) Great going, flea-bag, now we're stuck here.  
  
Hobbes: I hope I can smooch Susie!  
  
Mom: Dinner time!  
  
Calvin: Alright saved!  
  
Mom: You and Susie better go wash up now.  
  
*Calvin and Susie dawdle towards the powder room just then the door slammed and locked*  
  
Calvin: (jiggles) Oh no! We're locked in!  
  
Susie: Help! Help! Someone get us out!  
  
*5 minutes later*  
  
Susie: Oh no, we're going to be stuck here forever!  
  
Calvin: Oh gross, cootie central!  
  
*Something rattles against the door*  
  
Calvin: *wraps his arms around Susie, trembling* What was that?  
  
Susie: I don't know, but I'm scared.  
  
The door knob begins to turn but the door will not open.  
  
Calvin: Is anyone there?  
  
Unknown: (scratches at door and rattles door knob)  
  
*gasp* What will happen next? Will this unknown creature destroy Calvin and Susie or is it just his mom about to yell at them for being late for dinner. Find out next chapter! Until then, review!!! 


	2. Warming Up

Ok, last time we left everyone Calvin and Susie are locked in the bathroom with an unknown creature scraping at the door. Meanwhile, Mom is getting impatient because the dinner she prepared is stone cold!  
  
Calvin: Mom! Help! Quick!  
  
Susie: We might die in here!  
  
Calvin: Stop saying that! We'll find a way.I know! Hobbes! Can you hear me! Help!  
  
Susie: Hobbes can't hear us, he's a stuffed animal.  
  
Calvin: He is not! He can rip you apart in a second with his mighty teeth and claws!  
  
Susie: Hey, I think that thing that was scraping at the door went away!  
  
Calvin: Shhh! Let's listen.  
  
Unknown: *scrape rattles door knob*  
  
Calvin and Susie: HELP!!! PLEASE HELP US!!!!!!!  
  
Dad: What's going on here?  
  
Calvin: Dad! Is that you?  
  
Dad: Yes, did you lock yourselves in the bathroom?  
  
Susie: Yes we did, can you get us out?  
  
Dad: *turns latch and opens the door* Calvin, may I speak with you a minute?  
  
Ten minutes later  
  
Calvin: Boy, let me tell you Hobbes, Dad can be a real grouch sometimes. He said it was wrong to scare our guest like that and now I don't get dessert tonight.  
  
Hobbes: Boy, that's harsh *looks guilty*  
  
Calvin: But I still want to know what that thing was that was rattling the door.  
  
Hobbes: *grins* Well, I guess you can continue playing house with Susie.  
  
Calvin: Ugh, no way!  
  
Susie: Hi Calvin, may I come in? Calvin: No.  
  
Susie: I was really scared in that bathroom.  
  
Calvin: So?  
  
Susie: I just wanted to tell you that you made me feel a lot better.  
  
Calvin: Oh! Um, thanks, I guess..Your O.K. kinda.  
  
Susie: *smiles sweetly* Your O.K. too, I'm going to play with Binky Betsie, you can play if you want.  
  
Calvin: No thanks.  
  
Susie: O.K. (leaves room)  
  
Hobbes: Wooo hoooo! I could feel the love in this room.  
  
Calvin: No! I hate girls! Especially Susie!  
  
Hobbes: Don't be so shy, lover lips I know you like her!  
  
Calvin: Why you little.  
  
*Calvin and Hobbes begin to fight*  
  
Later.  
  
Susie is watching T.V.  
  
Calvin: Hey, can I watch T.V. with you?  
  
Susie: Sure!  
  
*Calvin sits next to her on the floor and Susie leans on Calvin's shoulder. Calvin is about to leave in disgust, but then he realizes that he liked how soft her hair was. So he put his arm around her*  
  
Weeeellllllllll things are getting ;pretty interesting here. Will Calvin and Susie become friends? OR Will Hobbes make fun of Calvin so much that Calvin will hate Susie again? Find out next chapter! In the mean time please review!!!! PLEASE? 


	3. The End

The End of the story.  
  
Finally this pathetic story is going to be brought an end. I've gotten too many nasty comments so this is the final chapter. And in NON- SCRIPT FORMAT Ok? So you can stop complaining now.  
  
Calvin quickly realizes where he is and what he is doing.  
  
"Ewww, gross! Susie!" snapped Calvin as he shoved Susie off his shoulder and ran to his room.  
  
"Fine, who need you Calvin? You can go play by yourself!" Susie roared.  
  
Susie turned the channel to something she would like. She finally found her favorite show, but she was not thinking about the plot, she was wondering why she was hitting on Calvin. Did she like him? No, not that bratty kid that throws slush balls at her and calls her nasty names. Susie cuddled up with Mr. Bun and pondered.  
  
Calvin hurried to the bathroom and tried to wash any part of his body that was touching Susie's. Calvin then sprayed himself with Lysol, just in case, and went to his room to read the next issue of Captain Nalpalm.  
  
The next morning Susie's parents arrived to take Susie home.  
  
"Did you have a good time, honey?" asked Mrs. Derkins cheerfully.  
  
"I guess." mumbled Susie. She had a terrible time. She just wasn't in the mood to talk.  
  
"You better thank Calvin's parents for letting you stay with them." said Mr. Derkins.  
  
"Thank you for having me." Susie said glumly.  
  
Calvin was staring out his window as Susie walked down the street, Susie looked up and made a face at Calvin. Calvin returned it with a nastier face.  
  
Ok, it sucked I know. If you have a criticism, could you not leave it, it's not very nice. I know the story was totally irrational and would never really happen. My apologies to Bill Watterson. 


End file.
